Creamy Cupcakes: All He Left Was A Cigarette...

He just had his way with me...

It wasn't anything serious, really. He was one of those charming guys. Quite in person but definitely knew his way around me. The smses, the look from across a room full of people, the silly notes he'd send with the blushing waitress...(giggles)

It's like he knew I didn't expect much from him but his company and the way he made me feel every time we were together. He travels a lot and has managed to fill one passport in a year that we've met. He's read almost every book out there. He loves music and speaks a few languages.
He's a jeans and white t-shirt guy. Throws a coat and a scarf on every now and then when it gets cold. He's not into 'fancy' things like flashy cars and expensive brands but what he has, what draws me to him, oh my creamy cupcakes, I doubt words will ever be enough to explain this ...

My thief in the night:
He stopped by the other night after he landed. There was a bottle of Merlot wine and a sealed little red box with a note on it in French that read 'Pour ma fille'. He kissed me on my forehead and told me that he missed my scent.
We relaxed and caught up on what's been happening in our lives since the last time we saw each other. He told me about a book he read a week ago in a restaurant, how the character in it reminded him of me when we first met. Hhmm, I didn't want to get into that, I just gave him the side-eye with a smile. He gets like that when he really wants my attention. He looked really exhausted so I played Ali Farka Toure and Coldplay to relax him from his long flight. I turned around and saw the look on his face. He loves that sort of music. I sit on his lap facing him while I gently stroke his face. The touches were enough to express how much I missed and wanted him to stay there. He lifts my dress up and slowly closes his eyes and peace overcomes his face. After a few seconds I get off him...

Did I mention his hobby is trying to quit smoking? so he always carries 1 camel filter ciggie with him. He keeps playing with it while we chat. He leans over to kiss me but oh he smells so mellow I just wrapped my hands around him and held him so tightly while he played with my hair.

...moments pass...we have a glass of wine each...the music simmers...a couple of breathes later...

Long story short, a call came through. He went outside to get it. He kisses me and tells me he had to run. He was out of there in no time.

P.S. All He Left Was The Cigarette!

I Just Want A 25th Birthday Celebration, That's It!

I just want to be HAPPY!

I'm turning 25 in a month and 3 weeks time and just want to have the greatest birthday celebration I've ever had since I 'touched down'. Its not based on any monetary value per say but it must be memorable. I want to be happy and surrounded by my loved ones. I want loads and loads of pictures, black & white, sepia, you name them all.

The only difficulties I'm going through at the moment is trying to wrestle all the ideas I have. I know I want something 'out of the box', like a chill session in a warm random space with low lighting and beautiful music setting the mood right. I want a balcony that will overlook the city, I want big city lights to be a part of my memorable photos.

I want smiles everywhere. I just want to be happy!

Vintage: The Italian Job

And then my day started...

Scott took a picture of this suave old man in Florence, Italy. There's not much to be said regarding it but I'll tell you one thing; I would love to meet this man...or even sit next to him. He looks like he belongs on a yacht somewhere. He looks like he has stories to tell. He looks like he smokes cigarettes the whole day but still smells fresh.

Let me just stop before I lose myself to an old man who is oceans and miles away.

He also looks like he has a scruffy voice from all the years of smoking. OKAY I'll stop.

check out more of Scott's work on thesartorialist - i love his work!

Growing Up Is Not For Kids...

Oh my! I'm actually emotionally exhausted from trying to make sense of a (soon-to-be) 25year old's life. My Life.

P.S. KIDS, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

I have been trying to actually start taking charge of things I've always let slip away, mainly from being naive in thinking they will eventually sort themselves out. What a mess they've become!
So, I've decided to stick to my word, which isn't as easy as it sounds for an impulsive cancerian who calls herself Mellow. Seriously.

So, THIS is MY year to start taking life 'seriously'. Yeah, I know, only now right...It just hit me how growing up 25 seemed so old and far away and now look, I'm 'passing time awaiting life' in it.

I have decided to start keeping track of the R3 that might have gone unnoticed in my account then. I balance my bank statements, I'm checking if the medical aid option I'm on is really what I need and worth it, how much of my salary actually goes into bank charges, heck, even whether I should switch banks for that matter. I also decided to finally start going to gym, after paying Planet Fitness for 12months without ever walking in or out of there.
It's okay though, after all these ups and downs, I managed to spoil myself with some lingerie shopping. I know right, money well spent there ;) TICK!

Now I know why I used to think some of my friends were too pedantic when it comes to withdrawing money from any other ATM. I've never been a friend of numbers hence I always blame it on being 'a right brain'.

Well now that I'm in the process of sticking to my words, here's to hoping I'll maintain some form of consistency without pulling 'blogouts' and going M.I.A.

I missed you mixedtapediaries, it's good to be back. Now let's do what kids do best, Let's Play!

Winks**

Bad Girl Lyrics: I Heard Love Is Blind - Amy Winehouse

I couldn't resist him
His eyes were like yours
His hair was exactly the shade of brown
He's just not as tall, but I couldn't tell
It was dark and I was lying down

You are everything, he means nothing to me
I can't even remember his name
Why're you so upset?
Baby, you weren't there and I was thinking of you when I came

What do you expect?
You left me here alone; I drank so much and needed to touch
Don't overreact, I pretended he was you
You wouldn't want me to be lonely

How can I put it so you understand?
I didn't let him hold my hand
But he looked like you; I guess he looked like you
No he wasn't you
But you can still trust me, this ain't infidelity
It's not cheating; you were on my mind

Yes he looked like you
But I heard love is blind.

I Just Can't Put My Finger On It But...

Lately I've been feeling like I need change. It's not a specific feeling but I know change has to come soon, whether it being learning a new language, how to drive (working on it), playing some sport, painting or even learning to play an instrument. I don't know really...

What I know is that I need to find a way to find something to keep me busy. Lately I spend too much time alone and I'm loving it, don't get me wrong. I've stopped doing things that I don't necessarily want to do to an extent that I don't spend 'unnecessary' time with my girls anymore. If I don't feel like doing something I simply stay at home, listen to music and that's almost about it. It's an amazing feeling I never knew, hence I'm enjoying it.

I need Inspiration to guide me to what it is that I need to do before I bore myself to death.

Maturity kicking in perhaps?!? Only time will tell.

Love.

She's Fine...

I just got off the phone NOW with Ms Noels (housemate), she's in Thailand with her girls living it up. They left on the 27th and only getting back on the 7th first thing in the morning.

I was half asleep when I walked her out the house and kissed her goodbye so I didn't get to soak myself into those emotions and all. I have been missing her calm spirit so much since she's been gone. It's amazing how one tends to think that having someone there each day is just okay until they're out of site or reach.
The house has been really lonely without the Ms., no smell of warm cooked food ;), no one to calm me down when I'm over analyzing things and overreacting *sniff sniff*

But But But, she just called and she's doing fine so I can only look forward to Friday 7th of May.

P.S. I'll cook her something to welcome her back...and then she'll, of course, cook from there on further.

I'm back again.